---
date: Tuesday, July 15^th^, 2025
title: Smile!
---

I'm not sure if it was just part of being an introvert or a product of a
childhood spent playing Pokémon games, but for a large part of my early
adulthood, I was slightly scared of locking eyes with strangers in
public.

I remember many an awkward moment on the train when I would accidentally
meet someone's gaze. My default reaction was to look somewhere else and
act like I hadn't even noticed the other person, then spend a while
worrying about whether the other person had noticed (probably yes).

Worse still, let's say I was walking towards another person and there
was nobody else around, then I would often avoid looking at the person
entirely. Chances are they were looking at me, so if I looked at them,
we'd make eye contact!

Eventually, I realised that this worrying was unnecessary and needed to
stop. There was no reason for me to be ashamed about looking at people
in public. I was taking in my surroundings, not staring at commuters in
violation of their privacy. And I should have been allowed to assess the
safety of anyone walking towards me on a path. So what if I happened to
do these things at the same time as someone else did them to me?

I resolved to change my default reaction to locking eyes with strangers
in public (when the environment is safe and it feels appropriate).
Instead of looking away in shame, I decided, I would do something that
seemed radical to me. I would hold their gaze, and I would smile. I
would keep it brief, respectful, and, of course, genuine. After all,
even though I didn't know anything about them, why wouldn't I be happy
to see another person?

To my great surprise, *almost every stranger smiles back,* and I have
lived by this policy ever since.

Return smiles vary. For most, the smile seems natural and immediate. For
others, there's a noticeable hesitation. Perhaps they wonder if I am
looking at someone else, or if they are meant to know me from somewhere.
Maybe they're even smiling back in an attempt to get me to stop looking
at them!

For others still, the smile overtakes a frown or another negative
expression, and it's like I have invited the person to relax, even if
just for a moment. In the same moment, *I* get to relax, too.

Not everyone smiles back. Maybe some people aren't in the mood to
connect. Maybe some people interpret my expression as intrusive or
threatening, even though I don't mean it like that.

A rare few look away before I have the chance to smile at all. I wonder
if they feel the same way I did every time my gaze collided with that of
a stranger. If so, I wish I could tell them, don't panic! Try smiling
instead. You might find out that random people actually tend to be happy
to see you.

`<img src="mona-lisa.png" title="When two trainers' eyes meet, they must battle!"/>`{=html}